for Paul…. with love…… The attic was a comforting space at any time of day, but in the evenings as the day came to a close, it was Mel’s favorite place. Sunset cast its lingering beams through vent slats burnished by ages. Lifted and sifted in almost elfin and lyrical Brownian motion, glinting particles that accumulated with the passages and memories of several lifetimes danced on the shafts of light. Mel leaned back letting her slight movement set the rocker’s cadence without force. A single tear kissed the corners of her eyes while a gentle smile did likewise to her face. She was content to let the comforting cloth of dusk wrap her snug for the night to come, and she felt it tug gently over her shoulders, first though, she found joy in the glittering display the sun made of the weightless and precious essence of time. What shimmered and danced there for her brought to life and lifted into visibility by the warmth of the day’s last rays of sunlight were tiny pieces of the essence of them – the life they made together in this house – dust chipped off the memories, knickknacks and souvenirs of decades shared – even flakes of their hair, skin and long dried tears.”All that glitters is not gold,” she whispered, nodding with a broadening of her smile when the soft puff generated by her thought whirled eddies in the sparking rivers of suspended time.Closing her eyes, with a sigh, her nostrils drew deeply from the precious flow lifted and stirred by sunbeams. Her mind first tasted of the rich silken elixir then, senses woke and she wandered into the memory.
The attic was a comforting space at any time of day, but in the evenings as the day came to a close, it was Mel’s favorite place. Sunset cast its lingering beams through vent slats burnished by ages. Lifted and sifted in almost elfin and lyrical Brownian motion, glinting particles that accumulated with the passages and memories of several lifetimes danced on the shafts of light. Mel leaned back letting her slight movement set the rocker’s cadence without force. A single tear kissed the corners of her eyes while a gentle smile did likewise to her face. She was content to let the comforting cloth of dusk wrap her snug for the night to come, and she felt it tug gently over her shoulders, first though, she found joy in the glittering display the sun made of the weightless and precious essence of time. What shimmered and danced there for her brought to life and lifted into visibility by the warmth of the day’s last rays of sunlight were tiny pieces of the essence of them – the life they made together in this house – dust chipped off the memories, knickknacks and souvenirs of decades shared – even flakes of their hair, skin and long dried tears.”All that glitters is not gold,” she whispered, nodding with a broadening of her smile when the soft puff generated by her thought whirled eddies in the sparking rivers of suspended time.Closing her eyes, with a sigh, her nostrils drew deeply from the precious flow lifted and stirred by sunbeams. Her mind first tasted of the rich silken elixir then, senses woke and she wandered into the memory.It had been one of those days, Mel shook her head. “Two of them!” she smiled with the memory. Both peppered by moods, both his and hers, spiced by a curry that simply did not taste right stewed to long in the pot. The corners of her closed eyes crinkled with annoyance. That alone would have been to only outward sign of anything other than contentment. Her chair rocked gently, her arms rested easily, hands folded comfortably on her lap. Mel drifted into the memory gifted her by the attic and the waning light of a lovely fall day.
It was her husband’s birthday, and it had begun all wrong. Married barely a year, Mel put a premium of staying on top of the little details, yet this one had snuck up on her. It was a bit of a point of pride that she was always the one to remember events and dates and envied by friends for always remembering the thank you cards and other gestures of etiquette that so many put off or neglected altogether. Her husband appreciated that gentle giving side of his wife, but he was less enthralled by the way she fixed on here very rare lapses or gloated even if ever so slightly on being better than most where personal gestures and tokens of thanks and recognition were concerned.
She had not really forgotten. In all honesty so many other events were going on she’d just not realized that her own husband’s name was missing from the birthday reminder on her calendar. If not for an off hand remark by a friend in a late evening catch up chat on the telephone last night, she’d have missed it completely. At first she just wanted to cry and tell Paul she was sorry. She knew he’d understand and probably laugh. Truth was, he’d probably take her over his knee for letting something so small bring tears to her eyes.”
“But darn it all! I didn’t forget, now did I?” she puffed up against the niggling nemesis that was her pride.
Fast thinking got wheels rolling. They wouldn’t need a party after all, as newlyweds who could fault a wife for planning a private evening with her man. She would make him something special for dinner and use her pin and household money to buy him a gift. The expense of a gift paid out of pocket without any planning would leave her short for the necessaries for the week to come, but she could hide that. Her selective memory convinced her that she’d done it successfully before when she’d spent outside their budget on other spur of the moment items. Even with a plan that helped her relax just a bit, Mel felt uncomfortable wrapped in her husband’s embrace. His gaze seemed to beg her to tell him she’d had to be reminded that tomorrow was his birthday and she’d made none of the elaborate plans she was known for and really wanted to. She thought she’d done well deflecting her sense of guilt.
“If only it had been just the guilt of too many other priorities putting him second,” Mel smiled. The tempo of her rocker increased. The light in the old attic continued to dim with the fading light of a glorious fall day.
That night so many years ago, Paul went to bed feeling his wife’s pre-occupation. He knew that something was on her mind. She can’t keep secrets long, he reminded himself, happily letting the odd edge he’d felt during the evening go so he could snuggle down under the covers with his bride.
The morning was a whirling dervish of activity and mixed messages. Paul thought he’d made it clear that he was going to stop by a long time mate’s flat and help him with some hardware and after that they would stop at the pub. Mel thought she had changed his plans with a seductive promise that she had more pressing work for him to do at home. Paul missed the message. Totally oblivious to his own birthday, he was fixed on the promise made to help an old friend. Tuesdays were his pub nights and Mel knew that; it was the only thing he kept to himself since they married, and she was always welcome to share it with him. He liked the freedom she exercised in coming or not, it leant to the easiness between them. The fact that she didn’t join him tonight rolled off his back with hardly a blink until last call when a mate slapped his back and reminded him he’d rolled off another year and put on a few new stone. Everything clicked for Paul all of a sudden. “My birthday!” he chuckled. “That was a siren’s call she offered me this morning without a word to the why! The brat! I’ll have to tan her hide for it too.” He found the whole issue of forgetting his birthday (since mainly he thought he was the one who was most guilty of doing it) to be a hilarious joke. He had no idea what had stewed and brewed as the evening progressed at home.
Mel was up to greet Paul when he came in and she had on a full head of steam. The house smelled heavily of burnt curry that had been steamed too long. His wife’s eyes were lit with a far more intense sensory message. This is what they meant when they said there was hell to pay! Mel & Paul launched into the moment together neither with barely a sense of what was on the other’s mind or what had gone wrong. It was a spat typical of newlyweds each wrapped up in their own point of view, and no idea how it could turn out.
When Paul was finally able to glean enough from what she babbled, Mel was pointed to the corner and ordered to pull her panties down. She argued, cried and sobbed, but never really resisted. She took her place in the dimly lit corner of their bedroom and hiccupped sobs. Knowing she was going to be spanked confused her, getting spanked stressed her, being spanked comforted her…. Paul called her from the corner ordered her over his lap and let his hand wallup her bare backside to a point where he’d shut out her complaints. Her bottom was crimson. Finger bruises were just starting to flesh up especially over her sit spots. Mel was wriggling and howling objections, but he knew she’d barely registered any of it over the noise of her plan and her pride. The cane was in order. Double six of the best was going to be necessary to penetrate the noise. The first six gave him her compliance and attention. “Ow! Please Paul!” came after number one. “Oh! Please Sir!” with # two. Several more pleases came next and then “Oh please honey no more!” came after six. The next six gave her his committment and life long trust. “You’ve earned this!” he held firm. “Oh please honey!” she begged him.” “No more secrets!” he applied the rod hard, his guilt seeping into hers. Their tears were sweet and mutual. twelve of the cane reduced every issue between them to hugs, cuddles and quiet moments together….
As it turned out, the why didn’t matter at all. The truth came out almost as soon as he put his hands on her shoulders and forced her to look him in the eye. Of course she argued. She even bickered. They both did. When it came down to it they agreed that dates mattered less than honoring each other with any kind of gift, and talking about both were much more important than netting some silly prideful coup, matching any date to any event, especially the little private ones like birthdays & anniversaries. For life Paul would forever associate the smell of kept curry with having disappointed his wife and having been required to apply the rod. For life Mel would forever think of the smell any new recipe whether it contained curry or not, that persisted because he was late, as something that would result in a spanking.
They both loved the spice of a good long steamed curry dish, and they both very much loved the tang of an adventurous new dish. Tastes acquired through everything they shared.
Mel rocked shifting her bum side to side, her bottom sore and scalding from the memory of that long ago birthday spanking. Paul had made it very clear that house & pin money better never again be spent on presents for him or any one else, and never again should she invest so much of her gentle heart on whether or not she paid notice to calendar events when everything about her being honored everyone.
Paul climbed the stairs to the attic. The creak of the rocker drew him there every day. And though the warmth & light of the day that drew his Mel was gone, there was an essence there in the dusk lit space for him. “Mel?” he kissed the last of the warm Brownian swirls left by the daylight. Her presence and love wrapped him up. She was his being and her essence was still there. When lovers are parted by death there’s a promise established by truth. Some of us get to know this with greater trust and clarity than others. We all weave into the greater truth of being. Everything; all of our choices, all of our perfections, all of our mis-judgments, mistakes and fixes; all of our profound ideas, creations and discoveries; all of us seeks validation, respect and love. Paul is one of those souls we all know has his Mel waiting… and you can just bet her butt’s been quivering with both fear and excitment … she knows, needs and welcomes their shared eternity….:)
I love you Paul. You’ve made my life whole when I really felt lost.
[edited and reposted. Sorry about the strange hiccups of repeating & repeating chunks of prose. Never had that happen before & all I did was copy from word to word pad before pasting here so all the huge line breaks & other weird stuff word creates would be gone. Thanks for the heads up Danielle.]
