Lindy’s Choice
Part 4
© 2009 patty
Confusion reeled in Lindy’s mind until she managed to still it with what was left of her melted ‘fuzzy navel‘ bravery beverage. Another, this one much colder, helped her blank out her favorite crime show. It was a re-run, even so, it played in the back ground and remained the stimulus that kept her up and wired until Craig Ferguson’s late night show gave her giggles and was over hours later. That night her bum hurt, but that burn couldn’t hold a candle to the churning ache she felt in her chest. Her shows aired on and barely registered. Lindy’s TV was still on at 3 AM.
“Remind me not to earn anymore hand spankings from that sadist!” Lindy sobbed into her pillow. She crumpled into the fetal position when her mind dared insert reason into her superficial and idiot thought. “It’s his softest tool you idiot!”
“I know!” Lindy fell into the first uncontrollable spasm of sobs she’d ever experienced in her life. “His words and just him! It hurts! Nothing’s ever messed me up like this!”
Tears and a sadness Lindy was unaccustomed to held on to her for well over an hour. Fatigue more than anything finally pushed them away. Once they let her go, Lindy felt ease settle in and let herself sniffle and relax into her usual mindless and horny pre-sleep state. Spanking predominated her pre-sleep excursions, even though her bottom was already far too well spanked she let in a desire to get another one. Her hands caressed her well smacked globes. ‘Hmmm sir I’ve earned your wrath again already. Do I deserve more?” Lindy’s faceless disciplinarian said, “Yes my sweet, but you will have to wait and worry.”
Lindy’s dream self smiled, while her real fingers probed and caressed herself to the ultimate release that would bring her sleep.
Her alarm sounded way too soon. Less than three hours was not enough. Temptation to roll over sleep in and risk a harder spanking at noon tickled her awareness, but Lindy’s better judgement took hold and she rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. Her groin throbbed as she contemplated her afternoon. “Well it doesn’t hurt right now,” she stretched and yawned. She had just enough time to ease some of the tension, and this time Brian was the fantasy man who ordered her to roll over her pillows, bare her bottom and then laid into her bottom with a sting free fantasy strap. Lindy climaxed a little too quickly, so she protracted her fantasy, slowed the churning of her hips on her probing fingers and let herself ease up and into another much more leisurely and ultimately more intense orgasm. The longer plateau where she lingered in the pleasure of her thoughts and physical bliss was perfect to help her gather the calmed mind set she’d hoped for the night before.
After her shower, as she dressed Lindy inspected her bum. It was peppered with small red-brown freckles and an oval light blue bruise was just visible where her right check folded into her thigh. She bent forward to get a better look, and rubbed her fingers over it. The bruise was perfectly centered over her sit bone. “I bet he gets the other one today,” she spoke ruefully to her bum’s reflection.
The 6:50 bus got her to work at 7:30 and the only other person there was the receptionist Christine. Lindy gathered her pride and wrapped it in the calm she’d worked to achieve before getting out of bed.
“Good morning Christine,” she smiled. “Can I tell you how sorry I am for being so rude to you yesterday morning?”
“Sure? I guess so. What did you do?” Christine was taken by surprise. Lindy had never spoken to her before, and Christine had long ago stopped taking her snubs personally.
“I had a bit of a bad morning and throwing my breakfast past you into the trash was uncalled for. So is never even telling you good morning in the three years I’ve been working here,” Lindy was surprised by how the words just came and didn’t feel false in the least.
“It’s OK, you’re usually running, nobody expects a busy person with important projects not to be pre-occupied,” Christine smiled.
“Once in a while maybe, but not every day, I’ll try and do better OK?” Lindy offered her hand, and was surprised when Christine took it warmly and nodded.
“Sure, and have a good day alright Miss Goodison.”
“It’s Lindy, and thank you. My morning should go well at least, the afternoon’s got some stressful stuff on the calendar, but I’ll get through it.”
Lindy felt a huge weight lift off her shoulders. “I did it and it wasn’t even hard!” She took the stairs instead of the elevator to her fifth floor office. Her computer woke from sleep mode with a quick click of the up arrow and Lindy opened the file that contained the mock up of the hotel lobby she was working on decorating. The mocha, sage green and deep burgundy red fractal images flowed over the upholstery and Lindy watched as the patterns morphed into a particularly pleasing blend of gentle waves. She stopped the movement and isolated the drapes and two of the larger larger sofas. Lindy then applied a transparency that allowed her to manipulate the fabric texture, and ended up going for an oppositional jacquard weave that complimented and added highlights to the pattern and its colors.
Plaids and paisleys woven from the three main colors, and simple tone on tone Damask in each color covered cushions, wing chairs, deep plush chairs with matching ottomen, and more formal Drescher ornamented wood frame chairs.
Lindy’s final touch was a deep burgundy hardwood floor accented by an oval sage stained cypress inlay that wrapped the layout and defined the furniture space leaving spacious nonintrusive pathways for guests to traverse the lobby to the concierge, registration, elevators, lounges and restaurant. Area rugs would wait for vendor samples. Fabric could easily be woven to match a computer designer’s rendering, software could program the weave and color blend. The upholstering process with foam, horse hair, fleece, down, fabric draping and piping always gave the fabric it’s own special character. Good quality rugs were best left to the autonomy of hands on artists who are given a color palette and general design theme to create the finished product on their looms.
By the time Steve arrived at 8:15, Lindy had a good work up of the project she’d gotten no where with the day before.
“Christine tells me you were the first one in today doll,” Steve stuck his head in to greet Lindy on his way to his office at the end of the hall.
“Yeah, I didn’t get anything done yesterday, and Brian has pulled me for some focused discipline for the whole afternoon,” Lindy explained.
“I know. Do your best not to get in any deeper please. I need you here,” Steve frowned. “Oh and I’ll make sure and let Brian know you came in early and you really impressed Christine by giving her the time of day and offering an apology for something she didn’t even remember that you did.”
“I have something ready for you to review when you’re ready,” Lindy piped up as Steve ducked back out into the hall.
“In a half hour doll, I’ve got some calls to return and some financials to check out. Keep working.”
Lindy tweaked a few details and added some lamps and lighting effects, and then opened a new project. Once the basic file was set up, she moved away from her desk to her drafting table. The table’s position allowed her an excellent view of the busy downtown Philadelphia streets. “How is it that there are still so many pedestrians at 9:30 a.m.” Lindy wondered. “Shouldn’t everyone already be at work?”
The observation was enough to distract her from what had begun as a productive morning. Lindy felt her eyes sting a bit, reminding her that she’d gotten very little sleep. “I was one of those 9:30 pedestrians only a week ago,” she spoke to the window.
“Yes you were, 10:30 sometimes too,” Steve startled her again.
“Damn it! You Shit! Don’t do that!” Lindy cussed.
“Ahhh, the bad girl looms her less than appropriate attitude again,” Steve’s remark conveyed a twinge of disappointment.
“Well, you scared me busting in on me with no knock,” Lindy complained.
“Talking to yourself again?” Steve ignored Lindy’s response.
“Just one sentence.” Lindy affirmation was haughty.
“Said volumes though, someone’s been thinking about the errs of her ways hasn’t she?” Steve came all the way into Lindy’s office and moved to stand next to her. “You’re going to wow me with blank drafting paper?”
“No you idiot, over here!” Lindy stood to move over to her computer.
“Calling your boss an idiot is one of those liberties that blurs the lines for you young lady. It stops now, or Brian will take you to task,” Steve’s tone was uncharacteristically stern.
“But we’ve always bantered that way?” Lindy straightened up and made sure she took a careful look at Steve’s expression. He was serious. It knocked her optimistic mood off its tracks.
“A concession to your talent, not a productive choice or professional example on my part,” Steve tipped his head acknowledging his culpability. “Since we’re entering this discipline plan as a team, I’m prepared to change my enabling behaviors too.”
“Enabling?” Lindy’s face crinkled in complete confusion.
“Yes, enabling. Take it up with Brian this afternoon, now what is it you have to show me?”
Lindy shifted toward her computer, not taking her eyes off of her boss. He’d almost never taken a firm stance with her, and she’d never even imagined that their comfortable banter was anything but normal day to day conversation between two people who enjoyed each other’s whit.
Reluctantly she opened the file with her rendering of one of their firm’s most expensive projects. Her earlier confidence was shaken.
Steve studied it for what felt like forever.
“Move the plaid to the plush chairs and their ottoman. The damask in each base color is a nice touch. It’s a pet friendly hotel so loose the recliners. Try love seats with heavier side tables,” Steve tilted his head. “I like the floor. Well done doll. Only you could come close to perfect first shot.”
“Thanks, I think,” Lindy shrugged.
“Fishing for more adulation?” Steve shifted his weight and crossed his arms exuding curiosity.
“Well, yeah, I guess. You’ve never been so passe when you liked my work before. It’s odd,” Lindy admitted.
“Apparently effusive praise is not in your best interest for the time being. I’m told that humility is healthy and when you already know you’ve hit the mark a simple thumbs up should stroke your ego just as it does for others.”
“All this psycho babble! I feel like some kind of science project and everyone’s manipulating the variables around me with no discernible methodology.” Lindy growled slapped her arms across her chest and slumped down in her chair.
“Consider it an experiment in faith.” Steve scowled. “Get off and clean out that self pity pot you’re pissing in. It stinks.”
“That was mean Steve,” Lindy found her earlier optimism fizzle away completely.
“That was well deserved and called for. So was the ‘good job’ with the sweet impression you left with Christine, so was the ‘good job’ for an almost perfect first effort on a project that will net us three quarters of a billion dollars.” Steve answered and then added, “Wake up and smell the coffee doll. You’re part of a team, not the center of the universe. New rules are in the works now. You become a team player - a respectful and appreciative team player, or you take your considerable talents elsewhere and hope they’ll take your shit for as long as we have.”
“My shit?” Lindy’s voice cracked and was barely audible.
“That’s right doll. Shit, some pretty bad smelling shit too. You’ve got six months and we’ll work with your program and the judge within reason. I’m impressed with how you’ve done in just two days - not even two days really. You know I’ll always love you even if you fail, but I don’t think you will. If I did, I’d never have spoken up for you to Judge Bradley.” Steve tried to soften his expression but he didn’t think it would help to go easy in that moment.
“I was feeling good today Steve! I got no sleep last night, but I felt like I could do it anyway and now here you are, my best friend, making me feel like shit,” Lindy’s whisper was cracked and hoarse.
“I’m your boss Lindy, a friend yes, but your boss first. Once you master polite decorum we’ll be able to jest again, it just won’t be only on your terms or quite as bawdy and off color as it’s been.”
“You’ve laughed!” Lindy objected.
“No one likes being referred to as ****ing Bastard, Ass H*** and other demeaning terms in meetings, especially the boss,” Steve chided. “How would you like me to speak to you like that in public?”
Lindy couldn’t swallow that question. It wasn’t that she had a mouthful of saliva or even a need to swallow, just the urge, but her throat muscles seized. She took several minutes to gain composure. “I never thought about it that way,” she finally spoke.
“And now you have doll. It’s a golden opportunity few of us get. Of course most of us learned it through hard knocks long before we got out into the work world. It’s not your fault that you were spared the hard knocks. But here they are for you now. Roll with’em OK?” Steve smacked Lindy’s upper back making her cough.
“Will you stop that please?” Lindy sputtered.
“What? Should I place my hang in there pats down lower?” Steve laughed.
“Ha, Ha!” Lindy’s retort was snide.
“Watch it doll, I’ve got a direct line to Brian.”
“Go **** yourself,” Lindy made sure her response was heard.
So much for her first good day.
Lindy did get some preliminary drawings done of both front elevations and main interior renovations of an existing log cabin that the owners wanted expanded into a high end bed and breakfast. The property had a main lodge but the owner wanted twelve authentic cabins spaced out over 900 acres and they wanted invisible facilities for grocery or customized meal delivery as well as full service livery for each cabin and the main lodge. The owners had ideas for cabin themes which helped, but the whole project had been assigned to Lindy. It was a lot of work, and she only had two weeks to bring a buyer ready proposal to the table. Rustic was Lindy’s dream, she’d been up for it before all this discipline and probation stuff, now her doubts and the self loathing that took root the night before made her question everything she’d thought she could manage.
11:50 a.m came fast. Lindy had a bus to catch. After what started out as such a good morning, Lindy wasn’t looking forward to her appointment. Instead of going to the bus stop, she trekked to a diner and ordered only water and coffee. Lindy needed some think time, but no food was going to stay down.
12:30 p.m. came and went. Lindy had reached some resolve. “Do it!” she told herself. She caught the bus at 1:20 p.m., but when it stopped outside her parole office at 2:05, Lindy couldn’t get off. As she’d wished the day before, Lindy rode the bus to the end of the line and then at 4:15 p.m. she got off and reluctantly pushed open the dreaded door to Brian’s office.
Amanda greeted her with the same enthusiastic smile she had that first morning - just hours ago really. So much had happened since then, it felt like months.
“I’m so glad you came in Lindy! Brian really has a soft spot for the ones who have to soul search, do it and stick with it.”
“A soft spot?” Lindy’s hopes lifted.
“Well sort of, he’s going to wallop you for sure, but his progress note to Bradley will reflect how well the weight of your discipline is effecting changes in your life. Trust me he won’t tattle that you were late. Just don’t try and get away with crying OK?”
“How do you know this Am?” Lindy finally found the moment and courage to ask.
“Three DUI’s and my Daddy wouldn’t have a felony conviction. Judge Bradley, my Dad & Brian worked this out. I got 12 months on the program, Brian’s assistant got married, and I got the job. I still had thee months to go, so for a while we had an out of office sign for when I had my sessions. Now we’re in office all the time. I’ve kept to my goals for 14 months now. Six more months probation and unless I ask for it, my butt’s in the clear.” Amanda was exuberant with her answer.
“Unless you ask?” Lindy’s face scrunched in confusion again.
“Sure kiddo,” Amanda shared. “Sometimes a darned hard spanking calms my mind and makes hard choices less iffy, - know what I mean? Don’t get me wrong I’ve regretted choices I thought were smart after gettin’ a spankin’ to help me get it right. When it happens I’m not afraid to own up anymore. I just own up, take my licks and cry it out. Now I have Jackson. I tell him my worries, he talks to Brian and we take care of the yucky stuff at home. I haven’t been in Brian’s punishment rooms except to help y’all get through it in more than a year now.”
“You sound proud of it all Am,” Lindy marveled.
“Hell yes I’m proud,” Amanda smiled. “If not for Judge Bradley, Brian and now Jackson I’d be dead or living on the street. I never got any hard lessons as a kid. I’m betting you didn’t either.”
“How did you get so wise?” Lindy wondered out loud.
“Same way you will if you let it happen Lyn.,” Amanda smiled. “Can I call you Lyn?”
“Sure, you let me call you Am right?” Lindy smiled.
“There you go!” Amanda smiled. “Better sit while you can. The Doc’s not going to be through before five. You’re going to get it hard here and then he’ll make you bus it home and then put you to bed with your butt even hotter. Do yourself a favor this weekend, when you get free to get groceries, find a ‘whole food store’ go to the herbals lane and get some arnica cream OK? It helps.”
“Arnica?” Lindy questioned.
“Look it up on line. It soothes pain after the spanking and controls bruising.” Amanda’s gaze shifted with guilt. Lindy recognized it.
“It’s OK Am, I’ll never tell, and you won’t believe how much you’re talking to me is helping me get used to this whole weird situation.”
Amanda was right. Brian nodded when he saw Lindy in the waiting room. Formalities were exercised with his last appointment. She had no signs of tears or distress and it was semi-clear with the way Amanda set up her next appointment that discipline and certainly not spanking were not part of Doc Brian’s Tuesday 4 p.m. counseling session.
“Amanda, thank you for a great day. See you at 8 tomorrow morning.” Brian embraced his assistant pecked her on the forehead and patted her backside toward the coat rack.
“Not 7?” Amanda cast a worried look Lindy’s way. “No, that’ll be Thursday. We’ve got this one covered.”
Amanda smiled and said her goodnights to both her boss and his client (her peer).
“So, Lindy, you managed an apology and gained a new friend this morning,” Brian opened their late session on an up note.
“Yes!” Lindy gushed, “and she told me she’d never expected it. She thought I was too busy and pre-occupied to have time to bother.”
“Was that true?” Brian interjected.
“Yes sometimes.” Lindy closed up.
“How often was it true?” Brian persisted.
“Maybe five times in three years.” Lindy answered honestly.
“Five times in three years. Five times in what amounts to more than six hundred encounters.” Brain’s facts were understated and Lindy knew it.
“So you told her good morning today and you told her that what you did yesterday was uncalled for, she’s got no clue about any of this, and she feels validated by you, do you think you can keep that up? Brian asked, Lindy knew he was getting ready to get firmer. This was easy.
“Of course I can, she was very sweet and generous to me. I didn’t deserve it, but it’s like she didn’t know it.” Lindy crumbled waking up once again to the odd nuances of ordinary life etiquette.
“Good!” Brian smiled. “You’ll catch on if you let yourself connect with the Christine’s and even the Amanda’s around you.”
“Don’t you dare punish Amanda for trying to be my friend!” Lindy bristled.
“Never.” Brian smiled. Then his countenance shifted. “It’s after five Lindy.”
“I was here at four.” Lindy’s reply was weak.
“You showed up at four for a twelve thirty session,” Brian’s tone was ominous. “Do you know what Judge Bradley would do now?
“Put me in jail?” Lindy choked out what she knew was the required answer.
“Very likely!” Brian’s voice boomed. “BUT, do you know what he’s done in other cases like yours where multiple witnesses attested to their potential?”
“No,” Lindy crumpled further and started to shiver.
“He’s ordered me to bare bottoms and spank so hard I invoke pleading and tears in the public setting of his court. Do you want that, or would you prefer that everyone who’s vested in you turn your back and give you up to prison?” Lindy saw something in Brian’s eyes that brought tears too close to the surface.
“No,” she choked. “I don’t want to hurt you like that.”
“Me?” Brian scolded.
“Anyone!” Lindy tried to recover. But she couldn’t help it, except for Steve (a happily married man,) Brian was the only man (background unknown) who’d ever even tickled her desire to please. Miscellaneous people whom she barely had contact with were a whole new and novel project.
“Better, but you don’t mean it do you?” Brian stepped toward his office.
“I’m trying too!” Lindy responded.
“Let’s help you do better than try.” Brian’s tone was matter of fact and firm enough that Lindy knew she wasn’t in deep shit for being late tonight. Consequences for that crime was going to be reserved.
After locking the glass entrance area, Brian locked his office as usual and guided Lindy into his deceptively cozy spanking room. There was an ottoman positioned in the center of the room and a 14 inch round bolster positioned close to one edge.
“Stand over there. You’re going over that and when this is over you will wish this wasn’t necessary. First you pull your skirt up and bare your backside! Balk and you won’t just get this tawse” Brian issued the punishment edict. Lindy looked tentatively back to see the three tailed thick leather strop. She obediently pulled down her pantyhose and panties and then walked her hands over the ottoman so her torso could fall, leaving her raised bare bottom the most accessible target for the tawse.
Lindy thought Brian’s hand and the strap were the worst spanking implements possible. This tawse widened her spanking implement severity scale by many ‘deci-smacks.’ She tried not to cry out, but by the second lick she was crying and writhing. By the fifth lick Brian was forced to warn her to keep her hands out of the way and threaten restraints.
“Tie me up! Tie me up! Please! I can’t do it! I can’t.” Lindy sobbed.
“You can, and when you do you’ll be proud of yourself.” Brian responded.
Lindy howled and couldn’t keep her hands out of the way for more than a few flaming licks. But ultimately she didn’t require restraints. When she climbed on the bus to go home and sat down, pride of survival of her twenty minute session with the tawse was farthest from her mind. Silent tears streaked her cheeks, what started as a hopeful day was ending harshly.
It was supposed to be a one spanking day, and in only a day and a half, she’d fucked up so badly that her spanker was having to give up another prime part of his day to deal with her.
“I can’t take it, but he better whup me hard,” she told her mirror after she donned the same nightgown and dowdy sweater outfit she’d put on the night before.
A slice of yesterday’s pizza was enough food. Then inane TV filled in. Higher channels offered several episode re-runs of her favorite cop shows. Those and worry filled Lindy’s time.
The doorbell sounded at 9 p.m. sharp. This time with little preamble Lindy went over Brian lap and was introduced to a smallish paddle ball game paddle. Ten minutes without let up had Lindy gripping the sofa cushion with her face pressed down into it sobbing and choking back screams for all she was worth.
“That one’s quite a stinger isn’t it?” Brian remarked as Lindy stood up.
“It’s worse than that tawse I think,” Lindy backed away and cupped her scalded bum through the thin fabric of her nightgown.
Well, my girl, I’m sorry to tell you that you’ll get more of it for the next few days until you earn back your original schedule. Steve will not be happy, but tomorrow you will be in my office by noon, and you will complete the assignments you avoided today. You’ll be spanked after lunch and again before you leave to go home at 5 p.m. Then you have Thursday’s three sessions to deal with.”
“OK,” Lindy trembled thinking about how much more painful every spanking had become. The sting would go away between each one, but then it came back like blazes with the first smacks of the next one. “Why are you going to use that more?” she asked.
“Because I know how effective it is, all sting, no thud and sting makes a much more immediate point. Used right it makes a very stern point and it’s not as likely to break your skin as some more severe implements. You’ve earned and need some long stern lessons for the rest of this week. If you do well, we’ll re-evaluate the plan on Monday”
Lindy wanted to argue, but resisted the urge. There would be no bargaining and she knew it.
Brian stood up, replaced the paddle into his brief case and collected his coat. “Be on time for work AND our appointment tomorrow or we’ll be making a visit to Judge Bradley, understand?”
“Yes,” Lindy nodded. After she closed and locked her apartment door, Lindy leaned on it and listened to the freight elevator rattle open and then crank down to the main floor. “Thank goodness for concrete floors and whole floor loft apartments.” She knew that her corner of the world was sound proof, having been oblivious to many raucous parties other loft owners gave in the past.
